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Antonio Machado was an inspiring Spanish poet of the early 20th century.  He encountered staggering personal loss during his lifetime and during the Spanish Civil War.  HIs mode of working with that loss and meeting life was to practice the art of poetry.   He became  one of the world’s most beloved poets of that era.

This poem, Last Night as I was Sleeping, is an expression of the consequences of meeting life without the distractions that hijack our hearts and minds.  He expresses what emerges in sleep and dreams for him and it seems to me parallel to our experience as we continue to offer an attentive contemplative practice or meditation practice over time.

As we settle onto that edge between distraction and presence we discover something like he describes, “My soul is not asleep.  It neither sleeps nor dreams, but is wide awake . . . and listens at the edge of the great silence.”

Here is my reading of his poem and below is the text.  The original is in Spanish and hopefully the intent comes through well in this English version.  I hope it will be helpful as you continue to practice.

 

Last Night as I was Sleeping

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt a marvelous illusion
that there was a spring was breaking out in my heart.
I asked along what secret aqueduct,
are you coming to me,
oh water, water of a new life
I have never drunk?

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt a blessed illusion
that there was a beehive
here in my heart.
And the golden bees
were making white combs
and sweet honey
from my old failures.

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt a blessed illusion
there was a fiery sun here in my heart.
It was fiery because it gave
warmth as if from a hearth,
and it was a sun because it gave light
and brought tears to my eyes.

Last night as I slept,
I dreamt a blessed illusion
that there was God
here in my heart.

And then later in another writing Antonio Machado reflected on this poem continued reflecting on what emerged in his dreams at the edge of losing the experience he found in the poem.

“God, is my soul asleep?
Have the beehives of my dreams
stopped working, has the waterwheel
of my mind run dry, gone empty?
is there only shadow inside?

No, no my soul is not asleep.
It is awake, wide awake.
It neither sleeps nor dreams—
but watches with clear eyes
far off things, and listens at the shores of great silence”

Rachel Currera was 19 and budding pianist and composer with a bright future.  Her future in music came to a standstill at that age after a car crash and head injury.  For 10 years her capacity to compose music was dormant.  Soon after beginning a meditation practice the music began to flow again.  The lovely compositions emerged as her first album including the deeply moving I Found You, You Found Me.

The first time I heard the song I was moved to tears though I had no idea why.  I had never known of Rachel and only encountered the song in passing.  As I listened, I began to feel the message of the title.  Through the music she seemed to be expressing the warm joy we feel when we embrace a long-lost dear friend or family member.  In this case I sense it was her experience of knowing a vibrant and creative corner of herself once again, her ability to express herself in the language of music, after that decade of being away.

Her experience isn’t unusual in my experience.  Over the past decade many graduates of my MBSR program and Yoga students offer such comments about getting to know or remember a lost dimension of their lives.  Here are some student quotes about that:

“I have found a reservoir of strength that I thought I had lost..” 
–  Liz, MBSR graduate

“ I have rediscovered my capacity for joy and my ability to laugh.”
– teacher, MBSR graduate

“It would be worth going through chemo again to find this.”
– E.D., yoga student and cancer survivor

” I have a measure of control, humor, choice and joy back in my life.
My situation has not changed but I have.”
–Nurse, MBSR graduate

“I got myself back.”
-MBSR graduate

Over many years I have the familiar and lovely  experience of dear students reporting that a particular ache or pain, a challenging mood or anxiety, even elevated blood pressure or a sense of burnout has diminished or gone away as a consequence of beginning yoga and/or meditation practice.  They often ask “Why?”

I don’t pretend to offer some sort of medical or psychotherapeutic explanation.  That’s not my job.  My job is to help them explore postures, movements (as in the picture) and contemplative practices  that may prove helpful.  Most often I tell them that our minds and bodies hunger for attentive presence and appropriate physical movement.  My physician and therapist colleagues, ones who refer their patients to classes here, confirm that many of our experiences of discomfort, tension, and physiologic difficulties are symptoms calling us to physical and mental engagement.  Kind of analogous to hunger pains.  Hunger pains are diminished when we nourish ourselves.  Many difficult physical and emotional states diminish when we experience attentive and appropraite physical movement and attentive mental presence.   Another form of nourishment.

Note that I am teaching a therapeutically-oriented class
that follows this spirit of learning.  
Wednesday evenings this spring, starting March 28th:
 Therapeutic Movement, Breath, and Attentive Presence.

One of the most encouraging yoga teachers and authors, Dr. Loren Fishman MD, offers his patients prescriptions of adaptive yoga practice for healing.  He notes in his books that there are many forms of therapy, some administered by physicians and therapists as treatments.  He acknowledges that some of the most powerful therapies are those we can do for ourselves and require no treatment, just our personal intention and devotion, like yoga.  Likewise Bessel van der Kolk MD, a renown physician specializing in PTSD recognizes yoga practice and mediation as well as MBSR training as some of the most effective interventions for folk who suffer PTSD and related ailments.

Read articles I wrote with my some of my professional colleagues about how medicine, therapy and the practices of yoga and mindfulness meditation meet:

• Mindful Yoga as Therapy with Dr. Paul Salmon
• Mindfulness Practice in Participatory Medicine
• Medicine and Healing with Marie Pielage PT

A few years ago after a huge personal loss, this poem emerged one morning.  It felt as if I had no choice but to write it down and then share it to support others meeting such challenges.

Reflecting back on that time I am certain it was an expression of the consequences of our practice in the face of the periodic and inevitable heartbreak that is part of the territory of being human.  Practice may be a contemplative practice, mindfulness meditation, yoga or otherwise.  Some sort of kind discipline of meeting the inward regions of us; the mystery below the surface of day-to-day strivings.

While heartbreak will come our way, I believe practice will open the door, as it did this time, to a full-hearted meeting of that heartbreak and invite it to be expressed in a way that includes, shares, heals and ushers us kindly forward to a new way of living.

 

Below is the recording and  text of Allowing from my small collection, Mindful Grieving; Meditations on the Blessings of Loss in Relationship.

 

ALLOWING

Here, embracing life, this life

Allowing those near me to lean in, close

A thousand years is embracing this precious moment

Where sorrow and kindness are lovers

Anger feels as tears flow

Once shunned, longing, longing now meets with affection

Resentment and tenderness hold one another

The unforgivable receives a kiss

Outrage meets itself, transformed

The gentle breeze of this breath

warms the room

Everyone is here, everyone is here

And now I meet you

 

 

 

Over these many years (now 14 – Oh my!) I have been privileged to share so many lovely experiences with students who came to class with dear friends, spouses, children, parents, grandparents, cousins, neighbors, workmates, and many others close to them.  I believe it is the nature of learning here that invites folks to bring loved ones with them to share their experiences.  To feel safe about moving generously and playfully exploring the direct experiences of life with one another.

 

 

Shared joy seems to erupt often here in class without need for any striving or ‘doing yoga the right way;‘ laughter, playful commentary, smiles are common.  I will tell new students, “There is only one requirement” and often their eyes get a bit big because yoga in many health clubs and studios can be a bit serious. “The only requirement is to have a least one moment of fun.” I smile, those nearby smile, they smile and voilà, a moment of fun!  Mission accomplished.  Now just enjoy the class.

 

 

 

 

This is a place where acceptance, appreciation and openness toward oneself and those nearby is continually invited.  Playfulness, interest, and trust emerge and then we learn together.  And that learning can be transformative as we just get to know ourselves and those near us with a kindness and honesty woven into the moments.

 

 

Sometimes in yoga class we partner-up (no requirement if folks don’t want too, just to watch is OK!) to help each other align and engage postures and movements that are ‘outside the box‘ of our more typical and habitual ways of holding our bodies.  This will often be a very delightful and surprising exploration in the sharing with one another.

I’ve included a few snapshots of folks here sharing the learning; mother and daughter, daughter and father, husband and wife, workmates, class mates.

 

 

By-the-way the spring Schedule/Newsletter is now posted online!  Lots of new and interesting classes and programs: Printable Newsletter for Spring 2018 with Schedule

In Kindness and Thankfulness for You  —  Brant

I cherish weekly visits to the Hoyt Arboretum to wander trails, to feel the air.  To meet the colors, shapes and textures of nature as she unfolds season to season.  Along one of the trails is an archery range and over some years now I bring my bow, assemble it there and invite some arrows to fly home to one of the targets.  It’s a meditative practice, something akin to what I found one day in the sweet old book Zen and the Art of Archery.

Last week the trails were alive with the hints of spring; buds, light green sprouts, birds chanting, warm sun flowing through the shadows of stately trees.  Expectations of blossoms and more warmth ahead brought a big smile.  What a joy it was to stand, let fly some arrows and be bathed with light and the expectations of spring weather in the weeks ahead.

 

Mother nature had other ideas!  Yesterday, just a week after that glimmer of spring, winter’s receding edges offered her cold breath and a blanket of snow for those trails and the creatures of the arboretum.  As I arrived at the Arboretum I was unprepared for the depth of snow and the forbidding temperature. Oh my!

My mind raced to hesitation; too much snow, no proper boots for snow, too cold for this, and a few dozen other thoughts spawned by the expectations of last week.  Setting all that aside I decided to lean forward and just explore a little in the direction of the range.  I found a few trails clear, then more trails where others had tread, and then paths with virgin snow inviting a pilgrim toward them.  Soon I was flowing toward the archery range smiling at the unlikely; joy embodied as the trails shared the cold, the sounds of snow, treading a joyful clip, and then the sun shimmering through the trees.

At the range, with fully 10 inches of snow on virgin ground I again hesitated and now in the spirit of the past hour of exploration I assembled my bow and met the fresh, cold air.  I found my breath in that air.  I felt the motions of the bow and witnessed the path of the arrows.  A lovely couple had strode the path nearby and I asked if they would take a picture so I could share this with you.

The path of expectations of spring and warmth, dashed by a forbidding storm that became a source of joy as I breathed life into the unlikely moments of leaning into the heart of what was rather than what should be.  As I walked the trails in return to the commuter train station laughter echoed through the forest.  Soon I found a lovely group of children finding their way down a hillside on improvised sleds: Joy, laughter, thrill, all shared.  All within that unexpected snowstorm.

All my love to you. Keep leaning in.   —  Brant

Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction: Brant Rogers Interview

 

On Saturday Evening, May 5th Let’s spend part of an evening considering how we might make a better world following each others ideas and learning from those who have pondered and acted directly themselves and have provided suggestions.  The Spring Be Well Gathering:

 

 

• To Make the World a Better Place, Think Small by Arthur Brooks
• How to Make the World a Better Place by Steven Stosney
• Regular People who Changed the World and How You Can Too in National Geographic
• How to Make the World a Better Place by Pulitzer Prize winner and Oregonian Nicolas Kristof
• If I Look at the Mass I will Never Act:  Psychic Numbing and Genocide  by Paul Slovic of the University of Oregon

Before one of my recent classes there was a passionate discussion about politics. Lots of heated commentary about one of the recent spates of national political turmoil.  I usually don’t comment on politics or such distracting topics during class but I did chime in.

The atmosphere was heavy with difficult and heavy emotion.  In response to my suggestion to consider pointing difficult emotions and energy about the world toward some constructive, person-to-person act of kindness or contribution, one of my students became agitated and said that such things won’t help at all and are useless in the face of mean-spirited powerful people and organizations.

I always appreciate and accept students’ comments and work diligently to create an atmosphere that is open to the honesty of the moment.  That said, I fully disagree with that student and I believe what I said was misunderstood; we affect the world with each of our actions and most powerfully so in direct contact with others and often in very simple and direct ways.  This can point passion and anger through us in a useful and helpful way and can effect the world in ways we can’t predict; large and small.  Rather than be numbed and give up or react with anger and violence, lean in and act toward the one nearby.   Mother Teresa wrote about this “If I Look at the mass I will never act.  If I look at the one, I will.”

This has been referred to as the Butterfly Effect and has grown to be recognized as a physical phenomena in weather systems and nature.  Many consider is so in society as well.  I know that very direct and earnest acts of contribution, whether offering a kind word or an act of tough love, are the way to make a difference in the world and to move our frustrated energy in a helpful and unexpectedly powerful directions.  Even those who make a positive difference seeming to act on the world stage (i.e. Martin Luther King, Helen Keller, those who award the Nobel prize each year, so many more)  who seem to change the world mostly act directly, earnestly, and simply with those around them to make a difference.

Hope to see you here!  Please RSVP to assure there is enough room for all!  Kind Regards  —  Brant

We have the privilege of sharing the evening with counseling psychologist Dr. Stephanie Conn, the author of her upcoming book on meeting stress and enhancing resilience, Increasing Resilience in Police and Emergency Personnel: Strengthening Your Mental Armor.  She will be in conversation with us about her experience supporting folks in high-stress professions as they do their best with her and her colleagues to heal, stay well, and be resilient in the face of immense stress.

We have the privilege of sharing the evening with counseling psychologist Dr. Stephanie Conn, the author of her upcoming book on meeting stress and enhancing resilience, Increasing Resilience in Police and Emergency Personnel: Strengthening Your Mental Armor.  She will be in conversation with us about her experience supporting folks in high-stress professions as they to their best with her and her colleagues to heal, stay well, and be resilient in the face of immense stress.

Learn more:  The Be-Well Gathering, Winter